'Googling yourself is just weak dope'
Everyone on Twitter is aware of its addictive pitfalls. Here is the nastiest of all: the vanity search. Typing your own name into the search field. Googling yourself was just weak dope â€" a gateway drug to the evil crack cocaine of the Twitter vanity search. It's a compulsive vice that can prey on anyone whose name appears in print: sports stars, actors, media personalities, all the way down to the humblest … erm … film reviewers. Ahem.
Occasionally, in conversation with a media figure, I will ask if they have ever gone in for the Twitter vanity search. Invariably, their faces will form an elaborate expression of bafflement, perplexed at the mere existence of such an activity, as if I had asked them about nude golf. "What an absurd idea. Ha! Ha! You mean actually putting your own name in? To find out, in a 10th of a second, what people are actually saying and thinking about you? And doing it two or three times a day and feeling overwhelmingly depressed and angry when some mouthy little 17-year-old from Auckland slags you off? Why, the very idea! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
If anyone in the media claims never to have done a TVS, yea, verily, their undergarments will be consumed in sulphurous fire. And all right, yes, I have in the past indulged. For newspaper critics, it is a dangerous activity. You may well receive a digital pat on the head, but what is more likely to happen is a chainmailed fist will, metaphorically, emerge from the laptop and beat you to an oozing pulp.
In the spirit of scientific research, I this week did a TVS. Someone from Australia had tweeted: "If Peter Bradshaw and I had a love child … this guy would be it." And the above drawing was the picture.
I was actually reasonably content with this, until someone pointed out that the Peter Bradshaw mentioned was in fact more likely to be the famous Australian speedway star. My ego-twittering ended in exquisite humiliation. If someone tempts you with the Twitter Vanity Search, stay strong. Just say no.
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Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2012/sep/23/critics-notebook-peter-bradshaw-twitter
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